Flying by easy jet was er, less pleasant than last week with Emirates. Fair enough, they charge less, but try every trick in the book to get you to pay extra for things like seats, luggage and food.
Worse still is their staff are trained to cope with complaining passengers, so feel no guilt at saying 'No'.
They have a very nice musical instrument policy. It says …
Musical instruments are permitted for carriage as Hand Baggage provided that the instrument, including its case, does not exceed 30cm x 120cm x 38cm.
The snag of course, is that this is rubbish. So we check in - I've been taking musical instruments and electronics abroad for years, and have come to the conclusion that in a decent case, the hold, even when loaded by people who don't exactly take great care, is the best place. However, other people have more precious instruments, and it's perfectly ok to want to keep them safe. So we turn up at the check-in. I put my guitar through as hold baggage, and away it goes. Ian's keyboard and Ben's guitar, however are rejected as cabin baggage. We get sent to customer services where we explain that we're within the sizes on the website. The customer care person says there is no musical instrument policy, so luckily Ian has printed it out. Ah - a supervisor is needed. One arrives and says that even with the information in black and white, we cannot take the instruments on board. What we can do is take them to the plane, and then the aircrew will decide on the spot, and if they cannot allow them on board, then they can be put in the hold at that point. No point arguing. On to security for the strip down and x-rays. We all know why this happens, but it's very annoying to get your bottle of Coke taken off you before you've drunk it, and then to have to buy another on the other side. By the time you actually get to the plane, moods are sinking.
The only saving grace to the Easyjet experience was the Pilot. A very bright voice comes onto the speakers - Hi! we're currently flying at 37 thousand feet - which is about 6 miles, so I suggest that if you are afraid of heights, looking out of the window is a bad idea. We're doing around 600 miles an hour, which is faster than a formula 1 car, but they pay their drivers more than I get!
This cheered us all up and smiles returned. Once we landed, he popped up again to tell us …..
We're cleared for our usual gate, so will be there very shortly - I have no idea how we do it for the money!
Lucy - our wonderful liaison with the venue takes us to our taxi, and we go to the hotel and check in, then she takes us for a coffee, and a tour of the city - plenty of history and some does make you think. Then it's time for our soundcheck at the venue, so off in another cab to the Malzfabrik venue. It's the German equivalent of a listed building - our stage being in an old machine hall, where in the past all the factory generators would have been. The event is a catered themed evening, with excellent food, and lots of entertainment. They have a duo and a local band first, then have two sets from us to polish the evening off. We do two 45 minute sets, which is a good chance to do a large proportion of the Beach Boys catalogue of songs.
The audience seem to have a good time, although it does go on quite late - licensing laws in Berlin seeming to be quite open.
Plenty of food in our dressing room, but we've all eaten far too much by then!
Back to the airport the next afternoon for our trip home. Usual check-in trouble with the instruments, and Dacre had his bag searched because the X-Ray machine thought a tambourine in his case looked a bit odd. Then - we hear Ian's name being called to go to security. Ben's bag he'd checked in had all his guitar pedals and cables in it and they weren't happy. First question for Ian was "Did you pack this bag yourself, Sir?" To which the answer was of course - No, it's Bens. Then they grab Ben, and he has to pull out all the contents, then pack them away again when they work it all out. Fun it is not!
Rather turbulent landing, and a group of German students cheer when we touch down.
We all enjoyed the show in Berlin, so with the exception of Easyjet, we had a great time - and special thanks to Lucy for all her help.
Next stop is Burnley - although for me the next couple of months gets complicated because I'm also doing pantomime - Christmas isn't usually that busy for the band, so Pete, our old bass player will cover for me if anything comes in the other guys want to do. I'll be in Southend - with Craig Revell-Horwood, in Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs.
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