Lancashire Calling

Next stop on the list is a mad dash up to the Civic Hall, up in Whitworth near Rochdale. It's quite a new place, because Google maps shows just a big empty space, but it looks rather nice in Streetview!

Should be a nice show because we'll get the chance to play more of the popular stuff! The Beach Boys have so many songs, that when we do shorter shows, we have to cut out songs, and of course, the ones that get left out are always somebodies favourite songs.

At least this part of the world is less wet than home. We have had the worst storms for years on the east coast of Norfolk and Suffolk, where we come from, and many roads are still closed because they're flooded.

I'm driving up from Southend so down here, we've escaped the worst of the weather.

I've been to Lancashire quite a few times and the people are always very welcoming.

More coming soon ……..

Berlin - the Maschinenhalle at Malzfabrik

Flying by easy jet was er, less pleasant than last week with Emirates. Fair enough, they charge less, but try every trick in the book to get you to pay extra for things like seats, luggage and food.

Worse still is their staff are trained to cope with complaining passengers, so feel no guilt at saying 'No'.

They have a very nice musical instrument policy. It says …

Musical instruments are permitted for carriage as Hand Baggage provided that the instrument, including its case, does not exceed 30cm x 120cm x 38cm.

The snag of course, is that this is rubbish. So we check in - I've been taking musical instruments and electronics abroad for years, and have come to the conclusion that in a decent case, the hold, even when  loaded by people who don't exactly take great care, is the best place. However, other people have more precious instruments, and it's perfectly ok to want to keep them safe. So we turn up at the check-in. I put my guitar through as hold baggage, and away it goes. Ian's keyboard and Ben's guitar, however are rejected as cabin baggage. We get sent to customer services where we explain that we're within the sizes on the website. The customer care person says there is no musical instrument policy, so luckily Ian has printed it out. Ah - a supervisor is needed. One arrives and says that even with the information in black and white, we cannot take the instruments on board. What we can do is take them to the plane, and then the aircrew will decide on the spot, and if they cannot allow them on board, then they can be put in the hold at that point. No point arguing. On to security for the strip down and x-rays. We all know why this happens, but it's very annoying to get your bottle of Coke taken off you before you've drunk it, and then to have to buy another on the other side. By the time you actually get to the plane, moods are sinking.

The only saving grace to the Easyjet experience was the Pilot. A very bright voice comes onto the speakers - Hi! we're currently flying at 37 thousand feet - which is about 6 miles, so I suggest that if you are afraid of heights, looking out of the window is a bad idea. We're doing around 600 miles an hour, which is faster than a formula 1 car, but they pay their drivers more than I get!

This cheered us all up and smiles returned. Once we landed, he popped up again to tell us …..
We're cleared for our usual gate, so will be there very shortly - I have no idea how we do it for the money!

Lucy - our wonderful liaison with the venue takes us to our taxi, and we go to the hotel and check in, then she takes us for a coffee, and a tour of the city - plenty of history and some does make you think. Then it's time for our soundcheck at the venue, so off in another cab to the Malzfabrik venue. It's the German equivalent of a listed building - our stage being in an old machine hall, where in the past all the factory generators would have been. The event is a catered themed evening, with excellent food, and lots of entertainment. They have a duo and a local band first, then have two sets from us to polish the evening off. We do two 45 minute sets, which is a good chance to do a large proportion of the Beach Boys catalogue of songs.

The audience seem to have a good time, although it does go on quite late - licensing laws in Berlin seeming to be quite open.

Plenty of food in our dressing room, but we've all eaten far too much by then!

Back to the airport the next afternoon for our trip home. Usual check-in trouble with the instruments, and Dacre had his bag searched because the X-Ray machine thought a tambourine in his case looked a bit odd. Then - we hear Ian's name being called to go to security. Ben's bag he'd checked in had all his guitar pedals and cables in it and they weren't happy. First question for Ian was "Did you pack this bag yourself, Sir?" To which the answer was of course - No, it's Bens. Then they grab Ben, and he has to pull out all the contents, then pack them away again when they work it all out. Fun it is not!

Rather turbulent landing, and a group of German students cheer when we touch down.

We all enjoyed the show in Berlin, so with the exception of Easyjet, we had a great time - and special thanks to Lucy for all her help.

Next stop is Burnley - although for me the next couple of months gets complicated because I'm also doing pantomime - Christmas isn't usually that busy for the band, so Pete, our old bass player will cover for me if anything comes in the other guys want to do. I'll be in Southend - with Craig Revell-Horwood, in Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs.

Berlin next stop….

So just after midnight we're off to Luton Airport, heading out to Berlin for the event tantalisingly titled "Summer of Love - a Californian Dream". I'm looking forward to it with two things just giving me a prod in the ribs. 1st - weather. Everyone tells me Berlin is a great city, but the weather today appear to be 5 degrees, and cloudy, with tomorrow being the same. Last week we were in blue skies and 37 degrees in the sun. Wow, what a difference. 2nd is our mode of transport - Easyjet. 20Kg booked in the hold, but my guitar is just about that, so everything else goes in the cabin - or more accurately, it doesn't. 50x40x20cm is not exactly huge, no matter how cleverly Easyjet describe it. If you can use this size, they say, then it's wonderful that you can take it into the cabin, guaranteed. How generous. The only snag is that everything you have then has to be in it - I read the blurb - liquids! trying to find my glasses to read the tiny writing on the toothpaste tube, and as for aerosols - the smallest one I could find was 150ml so in the end, I swapped my guitar strap for a spray can.

Our flight in the morning is at 7am, so we have to be there for 5, and as we don't really live close together, Ian starts in one county, and drives an hour and a half to Dacre, who lives in the middle of nowhere - although he now does have electricity (and a castle down the road).

The venue is the maschinenhalle in der malzfabrik which is a listed building and originally a huge factory. The venue has converted the engine building into a performance space, and it hold many events over the year. It sounds like fun. I really wish that I'd been better at languages - because I still have my schoolboy French, but virtually no German at all. Luckily, every German I meet has excellent English, so hopefully not a problem. We'll let you know how it goes when we get there! Now back to the packing.

Off into the Sun

The band met at Heathrow and started checking in. One of us had managed to half fill a tiny case, and had no instrument to take (Dacre!) and Ben had a huge case plus his guitar - all important stuff like his pedalboard and enough strings to last a week. We think he leaks acid from his finger tips so he keeps an entire string factory going with what he goes through!  Heathrow's a bit busy so we get off a bit late, but make good time. One of those new double decker airbus planes and they have cameras in the nose, tail and even one pointing down! So you can see what the pilot can see - really great idea. Now keep in mind I had no idea what the climate in the UAE is in November, so Iooked at pictures from previous Grand Prix events there. First mistake was to assume the sky was grey like the UK in November. Blue and grey are very similar. I even brought a jumper in case it was a bit chilly. Somewhere I had read that desert countries were often cold at night, so I assumed 37 degrees was a reference to nighttime chill in degrees F when I discovered it was daytime temperature in degrees C! Walking out of the air conditioned hotel was a shock.

Dubai is a pretty impressive city. The huge Mall near our hotel has a ski slope on the roof! The map we had was. Bit like the map of the London Underground and didn't have a scale so the short walk to the beach turned into a trek that after about a mile we figured was a really bad move so we flagged down a people carrier taxi and discovered how fares are 'negotiated' we told the driver we wanted to go to the beach. He asked how much we wanted to pay so we suggested 50 Diram, which is about ten quid. He took it, so even though he probably would have taken less but for less thana couple of quid each our feet were happy. The beach was nice, with little round male and female changing rooms. Plenty of Europeans looking like lobsters. The beach hotels are all 6 star and above with their own marinas and heliports. Another taxi journey back to our hotel when we'd done the tourist stuff. Next morning we're on the coach with a UK steel band and some martial arts experts on our way to the venue. Everyone has security passes with photos on BUT the coach doesn't have the right pass so eventually we arrive at the 'production area'. We grab our guitars and get ushered in a hurry up a loading ramp onto the main stage. I don't know what Jay Z's band look like, but I bet they don't wear Hawaiin shirts! Confusion over we get swapped to a smaller bus with the correct pass and we get taken to the south stage next to the track and in between the main stadia. For those with a technical interest a Yamaha PM5 with a nice LA flown line array. Our request got us some nice back-line and a decent drum kit, and best of all Jamie who was looking after the sound - and proved to be very good at it too! The logistics of all the entertainment was detailed to the minute. In the huge green room we had endless hot and cold drinks and food and a big spreadsheet showing our stage times and c/o times. First set is pretty good and most of the audience are simply passing on their way to their seats in the stadium but second set is interesting. We had assumed that the odd timings and set lengths were to allow for variety and changeovers between track activity, but we were wrong. Practices, qualifying and races would start early, or finish late so one set we did in competition with a porche race. We lost, although as many beach boys songs at about cars, we just figured it was sound effects! One more internal coach journey with a driver who didn't understand English, Arabic or French ( the only languages available from us on the bus) meant he missed our stop twice and in the end we gave up and walked back to the proper location. So Saturday done - two hours to get to the hotel and bed, then up early for the 7.45 coach back to the track for the main day.

7.45 came around again, and back to the venue through a sand storm. This time we get to our stage without any problems - and we have to hang around until 12 for our first set. This went off without a hitch and we had a great time again. In the entire time we were there we didn't come across one grumpy person, which is amazing. We did discover that watching Formula 1 racing is very difficult. Two of each team, so you can work out roughly who is who - until they start lapping the slowest cars. Once they are spread out, you lose track of who is who and who is in the lead. On the TV, you're fed the race stats so it's much easier. These do come up on the screens around the track, but watching them is even more confusing because sometimes you are convinced you are watching the same car go past, but it's not!

Playing when the racing is taking place is weird. The cars are simply deafening - far louder than TV suggests. Everyone wears hearing protection or ear plugs. You can't play the guitar with ear plugs in, so it's very tricky!

We did our sets, and the last one was really good. We got some compliments from a couple from California, who really liked us and thought it rather funny that we were all Brits!

Monday saw us doing some last minute shopping, then off in the hotel shuttle to the airport. Guitars and cases checked in quickly, and we were on our way home A late night landing at Heathrow, and then the long drive back up to Suffolk. Back in my own bed just after two.

A great end to our Arabian adventure.

Next stop ......... Berlin!

Sunnier Climate?

Well, we're off on Thursday to a warmer part of the world. A bit like a spy novel, we can't tell you where we're going, but it's going to be a great event. We have to play on Saturday and Sunday, and our  performances are very short, 30 minute slots. We've produced a set list, which the organisers have approved, and cutting our set list down has been very tricky. The trouble with the Beach Boys catalogue of songs is that they cover a wide time range and are also very different in style. So cutting out a song is quite difficult. That said, we've put together a medley of the surf songs so that should keep everyone happy.

Obviously we can't take everything with us, so we just take guitars and keyboards. As we play live, with no tracks, we don't really have technology issues - so as long as the instruments come off the plane intact, that's pretty well it.

Although we can't say where we're playing, we've got the itinerary and there are some slightly odd things - like the fact our hotel is in a different part of the country, and we have to travel over 100Km each way, each day to get to the venue! We've a great hotel, and the sun is pretty well guaranteed.

So - all planning seems to have come together, and we're on a 9am flight out, on a rather nice airline - so much different from my last long haul flight with United Airlines - which was the worst airline I have ever flown with in 30 years or so of international travel.

So we've got everything sorted for this one, but as soon as we're back we're then getting ready to fly out to Berlin for another show.

We actually had to turn down a request for us to play in Cyprus, which is a great shame - but they wanted us to play Christmas Day, which was just impossible flight wise in the time we have spare. The Christmas period for us is usually the quietest time of the year, so some of us take our break then, as the summer is always so busy.

Hopefully, we'll have some great pictures to put on the website and Facebook when we get back, so everyone can see what we've been up to. Quite a few of our friends and fans know what we're up to - but none of the artistes involved in the event can mention it in advance, so it's all a surprise for the people who attend. It's rather like a scene from 'Allo 'Allo - "Listen carefully, I will say this only once ......."

Right - trying to produce some set lists - 6 thirty minute sets, spread over a couple of days - but it seems probable that it will be a different crowd each time. So, we're stuck. Do we just do the favourites and repeat the set, which isn't good for any real fans who come back for the next set, but equally, missing out the favourites is a bad move for the new people. I suppose the real problem is that the Beach Boys have had so many good songs that people think are the popular ones, that finding the real 'core' stuff is so difficult. Even in the band, we can't decide which is our favourite - four people with four different lists. We've asked people to give us their favourites so we can see if their list is the same as ours.

Next step is to have a rehearsal this week and work on a few new songs. We've decided to have a low key rehearsal and spend time on the vocals with food and tea, we always get more done this way!

More coming soon.

Pickering in North Yorkshire

Weather good - so off for the five hour drive up to Yorkshire. First impression of the town was good, and we found the football ground easily. Alan - the man in charge who booked the band came to see us and we had nice easy access into the function room. Slightly odd shape as there are two rooms in a 'L' shape and we would be playing to both, so we set our gear up so we could work both. A little unusual as the people in each room could see us, but not each other. One bar serviced both. The bar staff were clearly in the spirit of the event, as they were in Hawaiian shirts and big Timmy Mallett style glasses. 

When we arrived the cup match was taking place outside the window, and sadly the home team lost. The place was packed by the evening and everyone had a great meal, and we went on stage for our two 45 minute sets at 9.15.

Dacre, our drummer and I went in the van with the PA, and Ian, Ben and Pete were in a car. Ian needed to be home early next morning, so he'd not booked the usual hotel - and we only realised this about 8pm! He's an evening person, so had no concerns about driving through the night - and when we all travel in one vehicle, he always volunteers for the night drive. I'm the opposite, so up early in the morning, but by midnight, I've gone! It never occurred to any of us to check the return details, so Alan the organiser, found us somewhere to stay, just down the road with a couple who will be at the show. Very friendly people - how I wish everywhere was as welcoming to visitors.

We did the usual selection of songs, and again as often happens, the dancers kept us in the fast number list. 

Anorak Stuff

Our usual monitor system is in-ears for bass and drums, and Turbosound floor wedges for keys and guitar - both are 2 x 12", and would probably be fine for a main PA in some venues. Ian and Ben were trying out some small behringer personal monitors - small speakers that fit on the microphone stands, and then have the boom sticking out the top. Amazing little boxes, that because they are close in, are pretty loud to you - but make the stage much quieter. I think one of the questest shows we've done - which pleases the PA people because they get more control over the sound. I turned my bass amp down too, and it made quite a difference. The only drawback Ian found was that he could feel the 'wind' from my basses bottom notes coming out of the tiny little speaker! weird.

More news coming soon.
Paul

Pickering - North Yorkshire

We're off to Yorkshire on Saturday - 250 miles, so around 5 hours on East Coast roads. People used to other parts of the country just can't understand the road system that goes all the way from Ipswich to Hull - we do have a few bits of dual carriageway, but to use the one between Loqwestoft and Ipswich as an example - the planners are mad! On single carriageway roads you can legally do 60 mph. On dual carriageways it goes up to 70 mph. Between Lowestoft and Ipswich there is one piece of dual carriageway, where you can finally overtake the white knuckle on the steering wheel people - BUT - this one mile piece of  dual carriageway has a speed limit of 50 mph! Yes - the only place you can overtake is slower than the rest, and of course, it's the only bit of road with a speed camera.

So for us to get up to Yorkshire, it means the A47 - not that dreadful, but the the A17. Once we get to the A1, we can speed up a bit.

The venue is a Sports Club, and the venue has been described as L shaped with the stage in the middle of the L. Sounds interesting.

Our set list is going to be expanded again. We do practically all of the Beach boys songs - including a few lesser well known ones, but we've decided to add a few more that the Beach Boys performed in their live shows, but weren't written by them. Back in those days it was quite common for the popular songs in the UK and the US to be different. An A side in America might be thought less suitable for our market, so one of their A sides might become the B side for a song that we picked instead! Covering other artiste's songs was also very common back then, so the Beach Boys released a song by somebody called Bobby Freeman recorded in 1958. In the UK it was covered by Cliff Richard, in the US, the Beach Boys. The song was Do You Wanna Dance. Cliff Richard and the Shadows released theirs in 1962, followed by the Beach Boys in 1965. Most UK people remember the Cliff version, which is a little different to the Beach Boys one, due to Brian Wilson reworking the arrangement. 

This is something that some Beach Boy fans won't like, while others love the idea of covering a familiar track. Once we've learned it, we'll pop it in the set and see what happens.

We're also going to add 'In My Room' and 'Hawaii'. Our biggest problem is that they wrote so many songs, and each show we do means cutting quite a few - so sadly it's often the slower ones that get left out if the crowds are up dancing - play another people can dance to, or slow it right down? Usually the dancing wins! In my Room and Do you wanna dance seem good to me - I'm not so sure about Hawaii. We will have to wait till rehearsals to decide.

What else is new on the UK Beach Boys front? If you don't like technical stuff - skip over this next bit. If you do, read on!

We tour our own PA system, but are happy to use a venue's if it's suitable. Lots of our events like the festivals and corporate events have all sorts of things on the running order, so they often have a PA system which is shared between bands, singers, and maybe even the odd DJ session. The Beach Boys are not a heavy rock or metal band - our popular music is from the 60s and 70s where mega bass wasn't needed, so for us, we don't need excess volume and tons of bass, but we do need to be able to hear what we're playing! That sounds pretty obvious, but it's not that simple. As we all have our own harmony parts, we have to be able to hear our own voices, but sometimes we don't want to hear certain parts - because they can so easily put us off. Me, for example - I need to hear my own voice, my bass guitar, and Ian's keyboards and his voice. Dacre often sings the lead or the high falsetto parts and they don't help me with mine. He doesn't need me in his mix either. Ben and Ian have their own requirements too. If we get the wrong things, it's so easy to sing out of tune - and for us, that's not an option. Dacre and myself have also started to use in-ear monitors rather than big loud speakers on the floor. These mini-earphones bung your ears up so you can have much quieter noise in your ears, and far too many musicians wreck their hearing, then wish they'd done it before. The only real problem is that when they are in, people speak to you and you can't hear a word they say. It just takes getting used to. When we do events where PA systems are supplied, we're at the mercy of strangers, who might be happier doing Guns 'n' Roses rather than the Beach Boys.

So we tour a nice modern Digital mixer, and a pretty potent PA system, so we can cope with almost every venue. If we go abroad, all we can take are guitars and keyboards - everything else is supplied locally, so we really have no idea what will turn up. We always send a rider - a document explaining what we MUST have, but usually compromises have to be made. I don't really mind what I plug my guitar into, but monitors are much more important.

We got some more information about our Special Event in the United Arab Emirates. It seems we're going to be doing very short sets during the day. We can't reveal anything about the event now - and hopefully we can pass more info on later. More on this soon - and I'll post up details about Pickering as soon as I can.

Newcastle

Next stop the Marriott Hotel in Newcastle - a private function for a department of the NHS who source and arrange cars for medical staff throughout the country. It’s a scheme where people sacrifice some of their salary and then can buy a car from many of the popular makes. It doesn’t cost the health service anything, and appears to be a genuine benefit for district nurses, doctors and other who need a reliable but affordable car. The party was sponsored by the car dealers and had a Tropical Theme. All the guests dressed up in bright shirts (not as bright as ours, but close!). Big LED screen on one wall showing a tropical beach. Really nice themed event - and we were the surprise. They had a great local band - The Fontains, a really good three piece who played modern covers, who are well known in the area - but we were to be the ‘themed’ music part. There was even a Steel Band who played as the guests arrived. In the foyer a mini-bus converted into a photo booth was busy all evening. The audience had just finished their meal, so we really weren’t expecting them to get up and dance - but they did, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people dancing and having a good time. By the end of the evening, many were clearly full, but we spent ages having photos taken with them. A great night.

Packed away and back to the posh van with comfy seats we’d hired to get us to Newcastle. Tapped in the postcode of our hotel, only to discover our lack of knowledge of the area hadn’t spotted the small problem. It was 100 miles away! Driving down the A1 we also discovered the diversion off the A1. However - whoever set it up made a fatal flaw, it took us off the A1, sent us miles out of our why to re-enter the A1 again - only to discover we’d gone in a circle and came up to the diversion again! In the end we did what British people do - we asked a Policeman, who said he had no idea, but if we went ‘that way’ we’d get somewhere - eventually we arrived at the hotel at 3.30 in the morning. I climbed into bed, and Ian made a cup of coffee and turned on the TV. It didn’t matter - I was gone! We got home at six PM - so that’s 34 hours away from home, and we were on stage for 75 minutes? What a strange life!

Next show is almost on our doorstep - North Norfolk!

A show almost on the doorstep - well, almost. Trimmingham, up near Cromer. A holiday centre in the middle of woodland. Lots of log cabins. Being Norfolk, the Sat Nav was a bit optimistic - In Norfolk, if the Sat Nav says 60 mins, then the usual settings of 'quickest' or 'shortest' mean very little. Our A roads are what the rest of the country call B roads, and our B roads are single file, with little passing places - and to get to Trimmingham is a bit of an adventure, when you meet a Tesco's lorry coming the other way on a blind bend! 

Anyway, the powers that be allow us to park near the rear entry to the stage, so in we go with the kit. It's Mike, our soundman's last show, as he's decided that being an estate agent is what he wants to do. Very oddly, and entirely coincidentally, his boss is Simon - the UK Beach Boys original drummer. We have a great night - once we've spent some time in the rather nice restaurant. Not enough time to play all the songs we wanted to, but we picked as many of the 'dancy' ones that we could, so we did miss some of the slower ones that I personally really like. The audience of course prefer the faster ones. A number of our songs are medleys - because back in the '60s, records only lasted two and a half minutes or so - so almost as soon as you've started, they're done. To solve this problem, we've put together a couple of medleys where we link them together - one is the 'Car medley' featuring songs about cars, and the other with the surfing songs. Very often the organisers have very strict curfews, so going over the expected end time is pretty bad, so we have a system where the surf medley can be three songs or five = depending on what time we have left. The signal for this is Ian waving his hand. Three fingers for three songs, five for five. We don't do two! anyway - we finish the song before the Surf Medley, and out of the corner I see Ian holding up his hand - it was five, I think. I ask Ben quickly - "was that Five?" - yes he says. One, two, three four - twang. Ian and Dacre start the third song, Ben and I start  the first. We excelled ourselves and took just two notes to realise and swap - not bad we thought! Thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, and I hope we'll be back. One of the snags with our band is that we're physically quite big. Ideally, we really need at least 6 or 7 metres in width, and 5 deep. Lots of our kit, like the amplifiers and racks are big things, so trying to squeeze us into smaller performing areas can be very tricky.

Ian arranged our next show as a fundraiser for a small village community centre, which we knew was going to be small, but it was for a good cause, so we figured it worth squashing us in for. Stokesby Village has a population of around 300 people, and is on the Norfolk Broads, so packing a third of them into the tiny village hall was a real challenge - but the organisers did it. Tickets were pretty expensive, but in the end they simply sold them top the village - none going outside at all. From the moment we got there it was very odd - because everyone knew everyone else - a great example of community spirit. This was two shows close to home - which was a record. As the teetotal band member, I always seem to get odd flavours of non-alcoholic drinks because I don't think they expect somebody in a band to not drink. Endless cherryade in this example. Not had that since I was a kid. This show was also special for another reason. This was our first gig since losing Mike, and we were struggling to find a replacement who understood the music. We had a volunteer - Pete Phipps - the old UK Beach Boys bass player, who I replaced. He sat out in the audience and made a decent job of the mix, because he knew the entire set so well. He also realised that this was the first time he'd ever heard the band from where the audience was. Hopefully, Pete will be able to do more of our shows. 

Next show is a long way again. Pickering, in North Yorkshire, up near Scarborough.

However - it looks like we're going even further. Hopefully, we'll be in Abu Dhabi in November for the Formula 1 Grand Prix, and then off to Berlin. 

More on these soon ............

UK BEACH BOYS 2013 - Devon to Newcastle

Down to Devon. Two shows, one inland a bit and the other on the South Coast. Sat nav says five and a half hours. So we leave home at Lowestoft (the most Easterly town in the UK) and head off. Eleven hours later we arrive! Somebody had sold bucket loads of motor homes to little old ladies with blue rinses ! It's scary to find one far enough into its own lane that overtaking is possible, and then you can't see a driver - you see two hands on the wheel and the top of their head just peeping over the wheel. The white lines on the M25 are for straddling like a scalextric! The PA at the theatre has been put in by an old mate - Bobby G from Bucks Fizz and it was rather nice. Nearly new QSC wedges so good things expected. For this show we didn't have the extra time and hassle factor of taking our own PA. For many bands hearing what you do isn't hugely important, but for the Beach Boys it’s vital. Everyone sings, so harmonies are very important. We all need to hear certain (and different) things. I personally don't want to hear the melody. I need to hear the two other harmony vocals and the keyboards - the only instrument that won't be out of tune unless Ian plays the wrong song! Dacre the drummer (who does most of the high falsetto parts) and I use in-ear monitors, like many people today, so our ears are bunged up with lug plugs which mean we don't have to be deafened. Ian and Ben the guitarist prefer real loudspeakers. It depends on what you are comfy with, really. We're on stage ready to soundcheck quite late because of the journey time and then get the shock. Four nice, good quality monitors, all powered up and tested the day before, but they don't make any noise! The venue is quite nice, and is a ‘community’ theatre. This magic word is often used to denote a crafty way our education system gets extra dosh! A school or college open up their premises to the public in return for money from local, national and European sources. So a revamped theatre, library or sports stadium is affordable. This theatre holds probably 300 or so and has pull out tiered seating, often called ‘bleachers’. After our PA was set up they had the final school assembly, with the seating pulled out. The little darlings had pinched every cable from the equipment the tiered seats let them lean over and grab. Bearing in mind our average age is er, not that young, experience says there's little chance of a quick fix and most importantly, no point panicking. The best we can do us connect the monitors together and hear what the audience hear. That's what we did. It's very odd hearing the things you didn't know even happened! "What's that twiddly bit you did in Help Me Rhonda?" Mystified me because I've always played it but they don't have my bass in their monitor normally. I remember hearing the melody for the first time in another song and thinking - so that's how it goes! It was actually a fun gig, despite the problems I really enjoyed it. All the people we met were really friendly and efficient, which is always great. The funniest thing any of us had seen was when just as we were coming on stage, we realized the house tabs were worked by a big handle in the wings, and with the confusion over the sound system, nobody was there to work them! So we did the usual intro – Ladies and Gentlemen, plase welcome the UK Beach Boys – and then Ian wound the handle like mad, and then ran on stage to play the first note! The odd thing was that despite the technical problems, we all really enjoyed the show, which was unexpected. Usually technical problems tend to make us cross – but this time, it didn’t seem to, and everyone had a good time.

After the gig we drove just a few miles to the next gig on Paignton organised by Palm FM the local radio station. A stage on the sea front and the start of a week long event. A really lovely bunch of people from the big boss to the volunteers. Plenty of set up time and then the heavens opened. Wow Devon can be wet! About an hour before show time the sun came out and by kick-off the crowd had dried off. On stage we go and half way through California Girls I get a strange feeling on my back. I am standing under a hole leaking water from the stage roof. The DJ set before us should have given me a clue. I thought it was sweat! Nope. The rain had pooled on the roof and was now escaping. I can't move because I'm glued to the mic stand. Then I see Ian wondering where the water on his keyboard is coming from. The next song has him playing with one hand, wiping with the other until at the end of the song he can move everything. PA guys smiling because they are under a tent thing and totally dry! One of the radio station ladies who is rather pregnant was standing on our side of the crowd barrier and noticed a bubble machine getting wet so she unplugged it. Bad move. Outside stages have lots of electrical protection devices that didn't like this so cut all the power off! After a few minutes all fixed and on with the show! Another good show with interesting moments!

A few days off then we left for Northampton. A private function at a park next to a lake. One of those places where people live in huge extended mobile homes that have never been mobile ever. There's a big clubhouse next to the lake and we were the entertainment for a party. Again, very nice people and a decent restaurant. Two very late spots 9.30 to 10.30 and then 11 to 12. We did the usual false ending then finished with Barbara Ann. Then they kept asking for more so we gave them the chance to pick one song. Good Vibrations won it!  Talking about winning, we got asked to judge the costume competition. That wasn't fun because although some had put in the same effort as my students when I was a teacher (as in no effort at all) others had really gone to town. We did get slightly worried when we spotted a chap removing his trousers in the audience, but were assured he often does this and wasn’t anything to worry about? After the show it was a short drive to Kettering, where we’d booked a hotel. All fine and we spelt well, but in the morning I managed to get myself locked out of the hotel room as the others wouldn’t wake up to let me back in, but eventually we all do breakfast then off to the next gig in Grimsby!

This was interesting – a big theatre style space with a balcony, but a huge stage space that would be ideal for orchestras and choirs, and has acoustics to match. It was originally a Methodist chapel, and now is an arts venue and the design allows for seated audiences and a decent size dance floor, in front of the stage. A the soundcheck, Ian tells Mike our soundman that the reverb sounds great, Mike says “what reverb?” I’ve not switched it on yet!

We’re really lucky to visit venues who have nice staff. The Grimsby Central Hall people are all so helpful, and didn’t even get rattled when they lost their keys and couldn’t lock up!

Nowadays, it’s very difficult for theatres in particular to make money, so places like this rely so heavily on being supported by the locals. We always spend time after a show talking to people, and many told us they heard the radio advert. To win a CD they had to answer a simple question.

What was the famous Beach Boys song.

1.    Cleethorpes Girls

2.    Grimsby Girls

3.    California Girls

I wonder if anyone got it wrong?

So we left around midnight to head back to Norfolk and Suffolk where we live – 160 miles says the Sat Nav. Lincolnshire, like Norfolk and Suffolk have not yet discovered motorways so that’s a long journey on twisty and turny A roads – but in true UK Beach Boys style, we passed a 24 Hour McDonalds, so stopped for food – only to find the other half of the band in their vehicle had the same idea!

Next stop Newcastle!